I bought Amy Chirp Wheels for her birthday. These are tires and rims without the spokes. They
Category Archives: Columns
The Curious Case of Brownie the Flying Cat
Anna was tracking a stray, brown cat that we saw through the back door. Then its paw prints suddenly disappeared. I wondered what happened. Rather than investigate, I chose to fictionalize where Brownie ended up. Spoiler alert: he
My Good Friend Gupus Needs Help
Amy and I were trying to drive from the SE 14th and Indianola Ave Mister Car Wash in Des Moines to Burlington Coat Factory. (Poppa needs new shoes.) We turned right onto Indianola Ave. A second later, our Dodge Journey
Elbert Ainstein
We bought Will an Albert Einstein Funko Pop for his birthday. Before opening it, he shook it, turned it around in his hands, listened to the package, and declared he knew what it was. We asked him how he could be so sure. He remarked that the Albert Einstein edition was the only Funko Pop […]
Grow Your Own Furniture
Amy was assembling our new dressers. The dressers couldn
Kinky by Dimensions
Amy bought a rubber belt with studs on it and hung this in the shower. I got all excited about kinky shower sex, until she told me it was an exfoliator, used to prevent acne. Suddenly white bodily fluids aren
The University of Iowa Bumblebees
Amy and I were playing Ticket to Ride. Amy was black. I was yellow. Amy commented that we had bumblebee colors. I said it was Iowa Hawkeye colors. Amy asked why the Hawkeyes weren
2020 Bibliopathy Report
I have a problem. It
Weather News Happens or Not
An article from earlier this week in the Des Moines Register had this headline: Blizzard Conditions Hit Norwest Iowa. Like my eyes to Cubs, Packers, or Blazers apparel and paraphernalia on my fellow man or woman, I snapped to attention at the almost-concatenation of the end of the second word and the beginning of the […]
Apples Around the Dollar Tree
I stand in line at the Des Moines, IA Dollar Tree on SE 14th, six feet back from the shopper ahead of me. We are spaced properly, but he is behind his blue painter