Weather News Happens or Not

An article from earlier this week in the Des Moines Register had this headline: Blizzard Conditions Hit Norwest Iowa.

Like my eyes to Cubs, Packers, or Blazers apparel and paraphernalia on my fellow man or woman, I snapped to attention at the almost-concatenation of the end of the second word and the beginning of the third, which would have produced the Captain Underpants humor-worthy headline of Blizzard Condition Shit Norwest Iowa, as in prior to a gastrointestinal event in a weather system, northwest Iowa as we know it did not exist.

I shared this spacing insight in a screenshot to my 14-year-old son and my brothers, both in their 20s, and we got good laughs as only males can. I still chuckle to myself when I see the chocolate frozen yogurt extruding from the machine. I can

Apples Around the Dollar Tree

I stand in line at the Des Moines, IA Dollar Tree on SE 14th, six feet back from the shopper ahead of me. We are spaced properly, but he is behind his blue painter

Approaching Asylum

We were listening to Christmas music through our Amazon Echo Dot. The selection was on It

We’re Starting to Paint Tomorrow and Moving Our Stiff in on Saturday

We bought a house in Carlisle, IA. It

Don’t Pick Up Abandoned Pancakes at the Park

Will borrowed my American Eagle hoodie to wear to the Phipps Prairie Park in Silvis, IL. Later, he told me he used it to pick up a pancake he found and toss it into the woods. I was mad, but this burned out like a single spark.

How mad can you be when your son picks up a piece of abandoned breakfast at the park? At least he spared some other unfortunate soul the pain of coming across a harried, homeless hot cake.

There are few decisions in the world with the weight that accompanies deciding whether to toss a pancake into the woods. Among them:

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Deciding Whether to Toss a Paper Cup into the Woods

This might not be trash. It might be part of the collection of cups belonging to the winner of the world champion cup-stacking competition. Have you seen those videos of people who can stack into a pyramid and unstack to small piles a group of cups in a matter of seconds?

They leave you thinking you


A lady staffer at a church we used to attend always pronounced Jesus like Jeezuz, like suds, spuds, or was, with a strong emphasis on the hard, buzzing z instead of a soft s.

Why did she do this?


The Great Banana Sacrifice

Amy told me about a gardening strategy she wants to try to get our tomato plant to ripen faster. The plan involves picking the tomatoes and putting them into a brown paper bag with bananas. The bananas release ethylene, she said, a chemical that aids in the ripening of fruit. Call it original creative destruction. Consequently, the bananas will go near to rot before the ripening process is complete, so we

Cut the Fruit and Pack All the Knives

Dr. Rocks Off

A buddy of mine said the doctor who performed his vasectomy was named Dr. Rocks Off. Probably not how his name was spelled, but that