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The Family Farce

Snarky. Irreverent. Humor.

Tag Archives: cut

Grow Your Own Furniture

Amy was assembling our new dressers. The dressers couldn

Posted bySeth KabalaJanuary 23, 2021January 23, 2021Posted inColumnsTags: after-Superbowl, Alder, Amazon, Amy, arborist, as you lay dying, Ash, Beech, Birch, Bloodwood, Bolivian Rosewood, calming poetry, caretakers, cherry, chili cheese farts, citizenship, collective mindset, contiguous, crude, customers, cut, cut my own wood, day job, deluxe package, disassembled, dressers, drone delivery, Ebony, editorial review, emotionally disconnected, emotionally intelligent highboy, exotic, financial capital, fine pieces, finished goods, from seed to sawmill, furniture superstore, generational delivery, give us a break, God the Father, great grandchildren, grow our own trees, Grow Your Own Furniture, growth, gullible potential customer, GYOF, GYOF brand, Hickory, hospital room, howdy doody, hundreds of years, impersonal, inheritance ravaging, Jesus, joint, land ownership, Mahogany, majority, Maple, model, molded, next generation, Oak, origin growth country, owner, park your butt, pre-measured steel form, purveyors, Randy the Intern, raw materials, relationship, restricting, ripping, run a business, sacrilegious, sales copy, sales pitch, sawn, select, signatories, smaller batch lots, Son of God, spending time with your wood, splice, strongly resourced, Teak, TFF Issue 29, US Poet Laureate, Walnut, wasting years of your life, Zebrawood

Cut the Fruit and Pack All the Knives

Posted bySeth KabalaOctober 31, 2020December 20, 2020Posted inColumnsTags: alcohol, all-human, Amy, apple, arcing sugar art, banana, bread, brew, broken hearts, bubble, church basement, clippings, collect, command of her crunch, community, complete strangers, contract killer team, conversation, country songs, cut, daily diet, dealer, deeper analysis, distasteful, dough, drop dead, Edward Scissorhands, exploding, flies, formaldehyde, fresh product, fruit, fruit bowl, grannies, grapes, harmless, health conscious, healthy snack, hips swaying, hired killer business, holds cards, husband and wife, ingredients in the pot, invading, jowl, killing people for money, kills, kitchen counter, knife act, knives, literary association, marks, masses, micron of growth, moving, murderous climax, new market, nitpick, old ladies, on the road, option, pack, packing up the house, paradise, passionfruit, pentagonal, personal space, quilting, razor burn, Ron, runway model, sample, sharp curves, shaved, shelf-life, shopping, single blade, slicing, slip, small towns, smooth, spinning, spirit, squawk, steak, story, strength, substituting, subtracting, sweetness, swiveled, tasty snack, TFF Issue 28, time to run, Tobin, trouble, trucks, twirled, wind, yarn

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