Dr. Rocks Off

A buddy of mine said the doctor who performed his vasectomy was named Dr. Rocks Off. Probably not how his name was spelled, but that’s what I heard, and it got me thinking. Somewhere, there’s a real Dr. Rocks Off, who casts aside traditions of modesty like garbage on the side of the highway, all […]

Electric Jackhole

I live in a populous neighborhood. The streets are only wide enough for those shopping carts with fake car fenders bolted onto them, and yet the inhabitants of my neighborhood treat the space like it’s spacious enough to transport windmill farm blades. You know the kind that look like a giant’s butter knife? It’s a […]

Wheatworld

The options for sandwich bookends run long. You’ve got your marble rye, sourdough, standard white (if you have little imagination), Canadian white (if you like to munch your sandwich and add an ascending lilt to the end of every complete thought), potato, French, brioche (useful if you can’t get the wife to sign off on […]

Little Meth Lab on the Back 40

I could get offended. I was born in Iowa. My family still lives in Iowa. Iowa has a huge tech presence in Des Moines. Outsiders who’ve never visited are generally ignorant about how modern Iowa is. But mainstream Iowa doesn’t make the humor ground fertile. So instead of getting offended, I’m going to get funny. […]