Don’t Pick Up Abandoned Pancakes at the Park

Will borrowed my American Eagle hoodie to wear to the Phipps Prairie Park in Silvis, IL. Later, he told me he used it to pick up a pancake he found and toss it into the woods. I was mad, but this burned out like a single spark. How mad can you be when your son […]

Editor’s Note–TFF Issue 27

Incongruities are the chief source of my humor. It could be that I am creating the incongruities in my head, twisting reality to suit the joke, or just being an irascible, irritating, embarrassing dad, but that

Cockadoodlescream

We rented a cabin in Days Creek, Oregon for a long weekend. The owners run a working farm on the property: Pachamama Farms. Among the animals roaming about are chickens; roosters; geese; red meat pigs (this is a thing); a snow white Great Pyrenees Mountain Dog names Zeus, demeanor indicating he seems okay with having […]

Municipalization

Most restaurants in the Portland metro have shut their doors because of COVID-19. Those that remain have cut back on service. Some have laid off staff entirely and have expressed no plans to reopen.  To prevent this cannibalization of the daily lunch fare, I suggest we take a page from the federal and state playbooks […]

Passing on the National Pastime

Amy shifted on the uncomfortable plastic seat at the Major League Baseball park, the skin on her exposed thighs sticking to the seat like a pancake on a griddle lacking sufficient grease. From her vantage point in the upper-upper deck, the players on the field looked like insects in an ant farm, though less organized […]