Editor’s Note–TFF Issue 27

Incongruities are the chief source of my humor. It could be that I am creating the incongruities in my head, twisting reality to suit the joke, or just being an irascible, irritating, embarrassing dad, but that’s me. I hope the 13 pieces The Family Farce published this quarter will encourage you to look for and […]

Shiny Wing Lips

I bought a sleeveless workout sweatshirt from Goodwill. When I worked out in it for the first time, I sweated through it at the base of my sternum in the shape of a pair of lips. Not just any lips; huge, come on, Marilyn Monroe lips. In previous workouts, I’ve sweated through other t-shirts and […]

Violent Writers

Amy told me about a group of rich kids who were arrested for being violent rioters. I thought she said writers. Rioters are old hat these days. I’m more interested in hearing about violent writers. Questions on my mind right now: What techniques do violent writers use? Are there wardrobe requirements? In what environment is […]

Best Books of 1020

Although I closely monitor and consume all new offerings from John Grisham, John Sandford, and Michael Connelly, I like to break from well-established novelists and read new writers.   So wayfaring in 2014, I discovered the writings of Kevin Wilson, author of the novels The Family Fang, Perfect Little World, Nothing to See Here, and […]

Demon Pilgrim

In the game Awkward Family Photos, one of the pics shows a family of four. You can safely ignore the parents and one of the kids, but the kid off to the left? Keep an eye on that ghoul. He’s wearing a mask. In the age of COVID-19, the presence of this article might set […]

Electric Jackhole

I live in a populous neighborhood. The streets are only wide enough for those shopping carts with fake car fenders bolted onto them, and yet the inhabitants of my neighborhood treat the space like it’s spacious enough to transport windmill farm blades. You know the kind that look like a giant’s butter knife? It’s a […]

Redneck Tanning Solutions

While Amy and I were driving to Costco to get flowers, I said I wanted to live half the year in the US and half in the UK. She asked why. I said so I could tan both of my arms evenly while I drive. My chest is so white that if I take my […]

Machete Mike’s Mowing

I see the grass, and it sees me. Today will be the challenge of challenges. Shoots will attempt to break free from uniformity, to diverge from inclusion in a level, collective cut. They will blame gorge winds. They will blame exhaust gusts. They will blame worm farts. But their deflections will stop short of action […]

Cockadoodlescream

We rented a cabin in Days Creek, Oregon for a long weekend. The owners run a working farm on the property: Pachamama Farms. Among the animals roaming about are chickens; roosters; geese; red meat pigs (this is a thing); a snow white Great Pyrenees Mountain Dog names Zeus, demeanor indicating he seems okay with having […]

Covid Couture

Levi Strauss sales are down 62%, according to The Economist. Watch out, New York runways. The flannel phalanx of baggy couture is coming. How do we know this? We sat down with a leading fashion house in New York City and another in Paris (airline tickets being uber cheap these days. So nice to stretch […]