The Soothing Sounds of My 38-Inch Cutting Deck

I got a new day gig in the Midwest. This gig will bring us closer to our family roots and closer to real estate prices that feel grounded in reality, rather than high up in the coke-filled clouds of a subprime speculator’s drug-fueled wet dream. With cheaper real estate comes the ability to get more […]

Violent Writers

Amy told me about a group of rich kids who were arrested for being violent rioters. I thought she said writers. Rioters are old hat these days. I’m more interested in hearing about violent writers. Questions on my mind right now: What techniques do violent writers use? Are there wardrobe requirements? In what environment is […]

Redneck Tanning Solutions

While Amy and I were driving to Costco to get flowers, I said I wanted to live half the year in the US and half in the UK. She asked why. I said so I could tan both of my arms evenly while I drive. My chest is so white that if I take my […]