2020 Bibliopathy Report

I have a problem. It’s books. I acquire them armloads at a time. Many go unread for years. They are insulating the house, I think. To this and other rationalizations, my wife, Amy, rolls her eyes, but she’s got a bad case of bibliopathy herself. She just hides it with e-books and library checkouts. We […]

Extreme Exfoliation

Will likes to play the adventure/horror game Dead by Daylight. He was talking about an attack technique and described surreptitiously getting behind someone and spinning his chainsaw. I thought he said the technique was called back rubbing. It was actually called “back revving,” as in revving one’s chainsaw to scare the bejesus out of a […]

Redneck Tanning Solutions

While Amy and I were driving to Costco to get flowers, I said I wanted to live half the year in the US and half in the UK. She asked why. I said so I could tan both of my arms evenly while I drive. My chest is so white that if I take my […]

Editor’s Note–TFF Issue 26

My fourteen-year-old son, Will, and I have been watching the SAW movies. What started out as a goal to build his horror movie collection has become regular father-son time on Saturday nights in our home. Arterial blood spray, innovative uses of power tools, finding new ways to make my muscles involuntarily contract—it seems there’s no […]