Redneck Tanning Solutions

While Amy and I were driving to Costco to get flowers, I said I wanted to live half the year in the US and half in the UK. She asked why. I said so I could tan both of my arms evenly while I drive. My chest is so white that if I take my […]

Machete Mike’s Mowing

I see the grass, and it sees me. Today will be the challenge of challenges. Shoots will attempt to break free from uniformity, to diverge from inclusion in a level, collective cut. They will blame gorge winds. They will blame exhaust gusts. They will blame worm farts. But their deflections will stop short of action […]

Cockadoodlescream

We rented a cabin in Days Creek, Oregon for a long weekend. The owners run a working farm on the property: Pachamama Farms. Among the animals roaming about are chickens; roosters; geese; red meat pigs (this is a thing); a snow white Great Pyrenees Mountain Dog names Zeus, demeanor indicating he seems okay with having […]

Higher Thievery

An article from the QC Times described a thief who had been arrested for robbing the Dollar Tree. If you

Covid Couture

Levi Strauss sales are down 62%, according to The Economist. Watch out, New York runways. The flannel phalanx of baggy couture is coming. How do we know this? We sat down with a leading fashion house in New York City and another in Paris (airline tickets being uber cheap these days. So nice to stretch […]

Advantage: Humans

During training for my employer

Jesus Saves

I saw a mug at Goodwill with a picture of Jesus on it. In big, bold letters was captioned

Editor’s Note–TFF Issue 26

My fourteen-year-old son, Will, and I have been watching the SAW movies. What started out as a goal to build his horror movie collection has become regular father-son time on Saturday nights in our home. Arterial blood spray, innovative uses of power tools, finding new ways to make my muscles involuntarily contract

Wheatworld

The options for sandwich bookends run long. You

Obey Me

Last month, I spent over 10 hours on my off-Friday trying to delete my old website and blog and reinstall new copies. The Yahoo online website management tools stubbornly refused to obey. Example: I pressed delete on the index file for my blog, and a message popped up that said it could not be deleted. […]